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Archive for Randomness
At first I thought, this name sounds real familiar so I googled it. When I remembered where it was from, I thought that there was no way this guy would be dumb enough to show up on the Internet using that username, so I decided to ask him in the chat:
ME: OMG are you the famous NSX Nick?
NickNSX: wat do u want
ME: hahaha… it is u.. u sick child molestor
Wow… so Nick does live. If you haven’t heard of this story you gotta read that link above. Definitely good for a laugh!
Here is the screenshot of his account:
Head over to Pokerstars and try and take Nick’s money!
Here’s an idea – let’s host a pretend 900 person poker tournament and give each player a mask or a bag to put over there heads. That way, no one can know whom they’re playing or pick up on tells. Do you think the tournament directors of the world would allow such a thing? They let Phil Laak do it during this years World Series of Poker…
That’s the premise of the post by some moron called “OnceUpon” over at 2P2 (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-views-gossip/poker-masks-306265/) and while I’m not sure what’s he getting at with this post, this reply summed it up perfectly:
“zomg we can’t see faces! it’s like online poker!”
While the post seems a little silly, it would be an interesting social experiment. Take a crowd of players and have everyone wear masks. No one can speak and you wouldn’t know if Phil Ivey or Joe The Plumber was sitting next to you. Let it play out and as players are eliminated, they remove the mask.
Would it ever happen? Probably not but it’s still an interesting proposition. As much as the pro players love prop bets maybe they could do this on a smaller scale. Even better, take the High Stakes Poker show that comes on GSN and spin off a new Halloween special with everyone wearing masks. Too bad we missed the chance already this year but perhaps if enough of you send this article to the top brass at GSN.com, we may see this thing become a reality.
The battle between John McCain and Barack Obama is heating up and when you break it down, it’s no different than a heads up game of high stakes poker. Take this week for example, John McCain is raising a David Letterman appearance and Barack is smooth calling with speeches in three states. All of this set to take place leading up to their final Presidential debate this week.
When they take the stage for the debate it’s widely believed that McCain is going to play the table captain and bully Barack until he folds. Of course, it’s not likely that Barack is going to fold to anyone so McCain had better be holding a monster hand. The only problem is that even if McCain does find himself holding that “monster hand”, he may not have enough chips left to defeat Barack.
While we all know what it’s like going heads up against an opponent with the short stack, it’s safe to say that none of us has ever ran for President. If any of our readers actually fall into that category, we’re flattered but back on topic. This is no ordinary poker game, this is the battle for our next US President. No time to bluff anymore, you have to have the goods here and if you’re unlucky enough to take a bad beat – it’s game over. So who will have the goods when the river falls and it’s time to turn up their cards? Obama? McCain? Either way, it’s been a hell of poker match so far and the world is watching to see who’s going to take it all down.
In a lame attempt to get more old folks to play slot machines at their Seminole Casino Hollywood, the management thought they’d revive the old strip poker concept. Only this time it doesn’t involve real people stripping down. Nor does it really involve live poker.
Instead they’re giving old coots that join their Players Club the chance to pick envelopes that are stuck to a larger than life image of a hot chick on the wall behind some slot machines. To be 100% politically correct they also have a guy version as well. If your name is pulled from a random drawing you get to pick five envelopes from the poster sized hot chick on the wall. Inside the envelope is a poker hand and based on the hand (pair, two pair, flush, etc) you can win up to $75,000.
So far nothing naughty has been uncovered on the image and it appears that they are wearing underwear and a bra. I’m sure the old folks would freak out to see a boob or perhaps the dude’s manscape anyway so the tamer version is likely appropriate. So if you find yourself driving by this place and think “hey, it’s strip poker!”, just keep driving on home and fire up a real game somewhere like Poker Stars. At least there you can strip down all you like.
After watching last nights episode, I finally get it. I have uncovered the secret for getting on ESPN. Make the final table, you say? Nope. Cross Phil Hellmuth the wrong way in a hand? Nope. Dress up as a pink bunny? That’s old news.
Based on our critical analysis of the show over the last few weeks, here’s a partial list of ways you can get on ESPN during the 2008 WSOP show:
- Chop off your arms
- Chop off your legs
- Go blind
- Get mangled in a car wreck and talk Moneymaker into backing you
- Come dressed as an old man
- Pull a Hannah Elisabeth
I know we promised 101 ways but you get the picture. I think next year I’m going to sponsor a team of refugees from Cambodia to play in the Main Event. The hard part will be keeping them away from the buffet during breaks in play…
Filed under the category of “the dumbest shit we’ve read today” comes this little press release from a site called CircusCasino.com (Link bait, I know but I’ll play along). So these folks have hired a real-deal “personologist”, aka a face reader to tell us the top traits that winning poker players have. According to this person the best traits for a winning poker player include cupped-out ears, a Roman nose, and wide set eyes. Interesting that they didn’t mention gold chains, rings, and bracelets. What about the wet hair look, ala Scotty Nguyen?
Taking the silliness one step further, they even posted a picture of what the ultimate poker player would look like. Patrick Antonius? WRONG. It’s this guy:
You’re damn right son, this is the face of the ultimate poker player. It’s the facial traits of:
1. Roman nose of Chris Moneymaker
2. Wide-set eyes of Jerry Yang
3. Head width of Greg Raymer & Noel Furlong
4. Sloped-back forehead of Robert Varkonyi
5. High forehead of Carlos Montensen
6. Jutting chin of Scotty Nguyen
7. Outer corner of the eye of Joseph Hachem
8. Cupped out ears of Chris Ferguson (funny, I would picked Gus Hansen for this one)
9. Flared outer edge of the eyebrow of Jamie Gold
10. That “Axe body spray covering up my ass stank” smell from Mike Matusow (ok, we made this one up but it’s true)
So if you happen to find this guy walking the street, let him know we’d like to stake him in the 2009 WSOP.